I Could Almost Swear
by CupKaykeskyline
Summary: I heard his voice ... Sora's.And for the first time in my existence, my tear ducts realize that they’ve slacked off for the past 18 years and did there job. "I miss you..." In memory of Charity ... Besties for life.
1. Chapter 1

There are times, especially during the summer that I can help but think bout him… Sora

**I Could Almost Swear… **

**Four Seasons of Sadness … **

There are times that I can help but think about him. I just can't stop … Sora. When the spring comes and it's warm enough for my naked feet to touch the sidewalk, we all remember, right? It seems like the warmth melts away the winter months of things forgotten, don't you think?

It's been about two years now, and for the first time in a while, I can hear his voice. It's like he's been heavy on my heart for these past days and because of that … I admit it, I've been depressed. But, it feels like every season, there's a new reason behind my sadness, you know? Like … something different triggers different feelings or memories that lead me back to him.

Summers are the worst of them all. That's when he died. Sometimes I go to our usual spot, the small island where we used to play and just lay there. Stare at the stars. I wonder if he's up there and if he sees me. I listen to the waves and as my thought buzz as the mosquitoes do. My eyes close and I smell the usual of sea salt and, for a moment, all goes still. I can hear him whisper "Don't forget me, But don't dwell we'll see each other again, promise!" and I wonder if it was actuality him … or did I just imagine it to make me feel like he's with me now. From there I can smell the scents of him … he kinda smells like laundry detergent and vanilla. Then my eyes open and I can almost swear that I saw him in the skies. I laugh a bit "I miss you" … and for the first time in my existence, my tear ducts realize that they've slacked off for the past 18 years and do their job.

Fall is the begging of the new school year. Yea. This is the time where what he said to me when he was still alive affects me the most. Everyday Sora would call me at 5:05 a.m and say "WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!!" hmn … those first few weeks of his death; I actually stayed up all night waiting for him to call. Now, I wake up at exactly 5:04 instinctively. Hoping that the phone will ring, which it never does and probably never will. But "wishful thinking" … Right?"

These two years, I feel like I began to mimic him, and when people say "Hey, you know that guy, Sora was it? You've become a lot like him." I laugh and grin, but really, I mean to be like that, I want them to say that. It makes me happy to know that people still remember him. Now, it's when people don't member, that bothers me.

Also, I get in quite the number of fights with my **already** enemies because they throw in things into the **already** heated words. "Where's your friend, hmn?" Now is it really my fault for sending thing to the hospital?

Most of the people in school stay away from me now, except for a small **small** circle of friends. Kairi, who got so bad that we decided to have Namine to take away her memories, that girl was almost near suicide. Actually, if I was asked if I wasn't the least bit upset about that and if for some odd reason I said no… I'd be a liar. Not that I don't care for Kairi, but I think … somehow, someway, she could have remembered something about him. I mean … we're all living with the pain of it … so why can't she. Was she in love with him?

Then there's Tidus , Sora's brother, who started hanging out with me a lot since Sora left. I guess it makes him feel like there are some pieces of his brother still left in me, as I do with him. Then there's Axel, who laughs and jokes to take the pain away for every one…including himself.

During the winter … I suddenly get depressed for a number of reasons. My mom has me for the rest of the year and, even though she doesn't try to, that house is a constant reminder of what it was like to be with him. You see, my parents are divorced now and my mom got to keep the old house. The house Sora and I used to play in and get kicked out of for playing too hard in. With my mom, she always talks about Sora, **always**. She'll stare and a blitzball or an old play toy and suddenly just burst out "My god… Sora's dead." and stare at me and I try very hard not to be upset at her … or pretend like I'm not over it. She'll always bring up these stories of when we were little and I laugh because, obviously, I remember it too. Really, it seems like everything we did together I remember since he died. Like was imbedded in my head kinda .

New years … is a very close second to summer because it signifies some thing new. And as the new years ball drops and the people are counting down "FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" "Happy" … New Year. New year, a new life, new beginnings … without him. **Without Sora…**

Oh, so you are wondering how he died … Huh? Well … no one really knows. His remains weren't found. It's just like he … disappeared. Without a trace. Where is he … I wonder? …

_I'm here … just not where you can see me_

_I'll be with you again someday _

_It will just take me sometime … Kay _

_Take care of her … Riku _

_While I'm taking care of the world…_

**A/N**

Hi!! This is something I wrote for my Best Friend, Charity Shelton. You see, she died a couple of months ago and something just lead me to write this. Maybe it was because her birthday is on May 14th. Well, I would love to see someone make this into a full length fiction. I think it's a good story layout? Yes? Just tell me if you would like to use it. Oh, and one more thing, in my mind, Sora's not dead. I made the ending so you can take it as you wish. Sora could be dead, or he could be … I'll leave the ending to you. On that note, thank you for reading and please review! P.S- this was updated twice, I added stuff and edited stuff too. Yea!


	2. Chapter 2

5:04 … dreams. ..

5:05 … Awake. ,.

That's what it is now. Sentences running into sentences. Days running into days. An endless loop beginning again. I stumble into the shower. Mindlessly. Turning on the faucet. Droning. Water.… Do you know what's so great about them? Showers? Nobody can hear you cry in them. Crying. More water. More H20. More matter. What matters anymore?

I guilt my mom into letting me stay home from school today. All I have to do is mention it and I get off like that. I guess it's a perk to having your best friend pass. Our family is losing with dysfunction in the lead in the 4th quarter and I'm the only one that notices it. It's not my job to call , right? I'm not the referee here. Isn't that the "grown ups" job?

There's nothing to do. Literally nothing to do. So I lay there and suffer from 3rd degree daydreaming. One that burns the soul. Why'd I he have to leave us? Why couldn't it have been some … I don't know. Killer or embezzler. Not an angel like him. We needed him. Like his name meant he was the sky to us and know our lives are as dry as our ability to cope. Am I dreaming? Was I dreaming? Did the sister's of fate tangle his string with another and horridly snip it without thinking?

Night. Finally. I've stated taking sleeping pills … is that good? I've heard that they can cause dependency. Well I guess defriendency will do that to you. Heh … . I'm not one of those I-can-stop-whenever-I-want type of guys. I can't I need them. I won't pretend I don't for anybody.

I crush them in my mouth. The burn makes me sleep better. Lay back and let them do their work.

Dreams . Nightmares .Wanting. Praying. Lather. Rinse. Repeat….

And I could almost swear that this was how my life would be for the rest of my being…

Hey all! Uhmm… well this is the first time in a long time that I've been on here. Maybe I could write some more for you guys?? I wrote this for class as a continuation of this story and thought I'd share it with the original audience. Well I thank you guys for reading!


End file.
